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People in our lives

They help us take

Just one step at a time

We walk arm in arm

Unafriad of this world

Revealing the love and compassion

This Lord has created

The ones we need most

Are the ones who have helped us make it

Unstirred and unbroken

This love in which we have spoken

We are there for each other

As sisters and brothers

Trust in the Lord

He provides with what you need

Taught us how to be

You won't slip through my fingers

Because we aren't afraid

Dancing in circles

This world going 'round

Enemies fall to the ground

We help those those in need

Then turn on our feet

Forgetting what this world should be

This light in the sky and wind in the trees

God showing us this world

And giving us air to breathe

Change your mind

And change this life

Unstirred and unbroken

This love in which we have spoken

We are there for each other

As sisters and brothers

Trust in the Lord

He provides with what you need

Taught us how to be

You won't slip through my fingers

Because we aren't afraid

Praying and praying

Time and time again

These all go unanswered

Is what you said

this isn't the truth

Because the answer is right in front of you

Just be who Christ wanted you to be

And tell me what you see...

Loved ones right beside me

Unstirred and unbroken

This love in which we have spoken

We are there for each other

As sisters and brothers

Trust in the Lord

He provides with what you need

Taught us how to be

You won't slip through my fingers

Because we aren't afraid

We aren't ashamed

This love God has spoken

Is continued to be unbroken

And together is forever

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We were standing there

Outside on the ledge

You with me

I was crying in frong of you

Wishing what I hadn't gone through was so hard

Wondering why

Everything had gone the way it did

No sense was made, and I felt like a rose about to die

Down the path, the light will shine brighter

Just believe in yourself

everything will be so much clearer

He will find you someday

So don't let everything slip away

You started talking to me again

The way you used to do

I thought it was kinda crazy but just went along for the ride

I never knew

Under this starry night

I would be standing here with you

I captured this moment

It in the palm of my hand

And

Down the path, the light will shine brighter

Just believe in yourself

Everything will be so much clearer

He will find you someday

So don't let everything slip away

And this love will live on forever....

Down the path, the light will shine brighter

Just believe in yourself

Everything will be so much clearer

He will find you someday

So don't let everything slip away

Until you've got the chance to say

How you feel inside

And the world can be yours when you speak your mind

Just let it go, let it fly

And if it breaks your heart, don't let it die

You'll never know when

Your heart will be sewn up again

By the one you fell for....

God Is Amazing.... And More.

I've been feeling.... not strange, but different lately.
With the Ryan thing, I'm growing patience, and I've learned to instead of just waiting, to cherish the moments I have with him, whether we're dating or not.
Yesterday on stage when I was singing, I just gave it all away to God. I wasn't afraid of mistakes, I just sang. It was all for God. And, well, I don't know... Probably, if I wasn't on stage, I would have gotten down on my knees and cried.
And last night, before I went to bed, I listened to "Lead Me To The Cross," " 'Til I see you" and "How He Loves" and just Lead Me To The Cross got me crying. I just broke down, because of how much I love Him and He loves me. I got thinking about the video we watched at service yesterday, and God forgives us for anything we do, and He just takes it from us, leaving us clean and unburdened.
I feel God is making a change in me. I've always been one who loves people and are there for them, but, yeah, I've been one who has gossiped too. But lately, when someone brings it up or soomething happens, I stand up for that person. I'm not judging, because I know we are some-what all the same. We've all screwed up sometime, we've all judged others and gossiped, we've been jealous, but we've also all been hurt at some point, we've been used, and punished. So what's the point in judging, and being jealous of others? Try comparing your life to someone less fortunate than you. If you complain about a job, think of those who don't have one at all. If you are jealous of something someone has, try thinking of someone who doesn't have anything at all. I've been falling on these thoughts for a while, and words aren't enough to describe what I'm thinking and feeling. It's just, awesome, amazing, wonderful, great, undescribable, overpowering, emotional, and just... I don't know... It makes me feel special, because God is making this change in me.
One thing I just started thinking about like 10 minutes ago. I'm debating whether or not to go to BigStuf. I know it would be a lot of fun and all my friends are going, and Ryan is going, but I also have $200 saved up that could go to something more, like helping those in Haiti and donating money to go toward those who are hungry, like for the 30 hour famine. I don't know... just something that's getting me thinking.
Alright, this could be much longer, but I feel I've written enough as it is, haha.
Well, Good-Bye and God Bless You all!

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ZZZZZHHHIIIIPPPPEEEEEE haha remember?

Well it's been like a month since my last blog... well a month and 4 days so I figured I might as well write a new one. Umm sooo yeah things have gotten awesome-er i guess i could put it. Me and Ry are talking every day, I'm his Valentine this year.... oh haha and I'm kinda sorta going to Valley's winter formal... :-) Yes I am SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOUCIOUSLY EXCITED :-) tee hee.

My head feels like its bouncing off walls in excitement and disbelief. Six months ago, I would have felt lucky if he would have even started talking to me again. Now, it's way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way beyond anything I could imagine. And today, I just feel like everything is absolutely amazing. Like, everything just turned into a miracle. It's just amazing. We both are going to follow through with this, and I know we can do it. I don't know.... It's just a great feeling to have...

You know how those feelings are... How you smile when you just get a text from him because you know it's from him. The way your heart skips a beat the second you see him. How your mouth and stomach hurt just from laughing with him. The way your head spins whenever he's around you. The way you get butterflies just when you think about him..... yeah....

I don't know.... there is something different this time though... and I think its just the fact that he's willing to do this with me too, and I'm not in this alone.

So yeah.

"Who would have thought, that this could actually be true?

Who would have ever imagined that this could really be real?

I didn't.

Who would have thought that I feel different when I'm around you, I feel myself,

Just because it's you?

Who would have thought that this could come back, and I get to know you, deeper and deeper, when I would have thought I just would have stopped at your name?

Who would have thought that this feeling, this symphony of feelings are back,

Deeper, and more passionate than before?

But most of all,

Who would have thought that you feel the same way about me too?"

Just something off the top of my head.....

Well, hopefully it won't be another month, but you never know.

Good night

And God Bless :-)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I hate Snow Days.
I love the fact that there is no school, but I hate the fact that I have absolutely nothing to do....
So, Im blogging on how I have nothing to do.
Nothing to do....
At all...
I've been watching movies all day...
I don't like sitting around...
I want to go out and do something, you know, hang out with people...
But I can't.....
La la la la la, la la la la

Let It Not Snow

Haha this weekend has been one long interesting one, thats for sure.

Sooo Friday, I hung out with friends, that was all... umm... could have been better, knowing the two teenage boys that showed up at my friend's house are complete perverts.

Saturday was a little more interesting. I got up and went to band practice, knowing this time would be different. We all had a "family meeting" and everyone just wasn't the same. Understandable. And it sucks, completely. And then after our "family meeting", we stayed in a group and talked, hardly, for a little bit. Then we just kind of got warmed up and messed around a bit trying to get our crisis out of our minds. Oh haha and pretty much everyone at the church knows about me and Ryan... I find that actually really funny, haha. Umm so yeah. And me and Liz had a strong and long heart to heart conversation about the issue and it was really difficult. We just don't know what to do and it's killing all of us. Especially me and Liz, and I say me because I feel like there is nothing I can do. So yeah. Then, Saturday night, thanks to MISS TIFFANY and Ryan, haha, it was so much fun. I had a blast. Ryan looked hilarious in his outfit, and the India thing was actually really cool to learn about. And the hospital was a lot of fun to with Jeremy and for a while Justin and Jared. But yeah, that was fun too... and blushing was really REALLY hard NOT to do ;-) haha. And playing hide-and-go-seek in Walle-Mart was fun because Madison got to join in the fun for a breif while too haha. I don't know... It was just a lot of fun and really amazing. And then, after I had been home for a while, I realized, I didn't really want Sunday to come.

Now, Sunday. I didn't wake up worried, as I thought I would have. I woke up, and I felt... strange. It wasn't worried, it wasn't a panic, or any bad feeling. But I guess it wasn't happy or excited either. It was just.... strange. Like something wasn't right. Once I got to church, I kind of tried, and partially succeeded in keeping a high spirit and just working through the day while I still have that time left. I did okay on the worship. But the part that sucks is my mic turning off and not singing the part that I worked really hard on getting perfectly so that it would sound good and I would have my own part to sing for the only time I had left with Justin... Yeah that didn't work out at all. Service was great. Life Groups were fun. But I was still wrecked and feeling down but trying to keep it in so I could be there for others and not worry so much about myself. But once I looked at Katie today and she asked me if I was okay, I broke down. I couldn't hold it in any longer. My day with Justin and the first and the last time I got to sing up on stage with him felt ruined. No matter how things happened during other songs or what. It still wasn't the same. I didn't get MY part with Justin. The only part I was really looking forward to because it was my chance to sing only with Justin. It just didn't feel fair. So yeah. Then me and Liz had our venting with Tiff in her car. Now Tiffs. Tiff, as much as you say you feel bad, it wasn't your fault and honestly I felt like it was kind of fun because it was something that was different in my life. And it was some day and some how that I could help people with their cars in the snow. It really wasn't that bad. And Me and Ry both got home safely. It's okay. Really. It's just what is. And as horrible as you feel, this happened for a reason, whether you know it or not. It did, but the result of it's reasoning may not show until you really least expect it. I know, I've been there. Like I said, It's just what is.

SO! That was my really interesting weekend. Yeah. Woo-Hoo... kinda haha. Well I got nothing really more to say, and it's kinda late......... haha

So, Goodnight and Good-Bye :-)

~God Bless!~

Haha soo....

Ignore my last blog... Like completely.

Because, pretty much everything has changed.

So.. me and Ryan are back on talking to each other again, and I like him again and he likes me now, and I'm now really used to it. I feel like one thing I look forward in the day is him talking to me. Of course, I ABSOLUTELY EEEEEVVVVVOOOOOLLLLL talking to Tiff and Madison... I mean come on, I tell them everything going on.

Life seems to be taking a different direction...

I mean, if you looked at me for the past three months, i was kinda hiding my feelings from Ryan, saying, "Hi," and I got lucky if he even said, "Hi," back. Now, we talk for hours, I guess. Like today, Tiff don't get mad, haha, but we talked for like 8 hours because I went home sick during second period, and he messaged me whenever he got to a computer... and he would make me feel better.

That's another thing. He ALWAYS makes me laugh and smile, and whether it's an emotional, mental, or physical problem, he always knows how to make me feel better... I don't know. And with other guys, I had my head up in the clouds, I couldn't think of anything and nothing just seemed to work... at all. Now I still have my head a bit in the clouds, but now I also have my feet on the ground. I can concentrate and I know what is happening around me, and I still have time with my friends, and everything just seems to be working out. I don't know... I think it's just amazing how God's miracles work... A while ago, I don't think I blogged it, but I write, and I wrote down reasons why I like him, and why we can't date. I was looking at this today actually and I read it, and the last reason that said we can't date was: "I don’t like him more than a friend now, but if a miracle happens that lets us be together, that’s okay too…. Ha."

And I know, my head is still a bit in the clouds, because I don't know what is going to happen in the future. But I hope that we all make the best of what we have today.

God Bless, Thank you God, and I pray all goes well :-)